Friday, August 12, 2011

[Guest blogger] Rebublican Circus

Thanks Joel, love the commentary since I could not be bothered to watch this circus.  Now at least I can vote.

Last night watching the debate, for some reason I was thinking about the lyrics to the Bloodhound Gang's song, The Bad Touch -  "You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel"

Just change "mammals" to "circus clowns" and "Discovery" to "Comedy" - and you have a sense of last night's debate. But of course that doesn't flow nearly as well. That's OK, cuz neither did the debate.

Two absolute howlers for me:
1) Moderator asks show of hands of who would walk away from a 10 to 1 spending cut to tax increase deal. Everyone raised their hands. Surprise! I was shocked that the follow up question wasn't "How many of you realize that Osama and Obama are only one letter different?"
2) Michelle Bachman is asked if she would be "submissive" to her husband in the White House. Huh? I skipped Auction Hunters for this! A Pox on your TiVo house!

The breakdown:

Tim sure had Pawlenty to say about Michelle Bachman. He claims she has no executive experience and hasn't accomplished much in Congress. Hmm . . . Hillary said the same about Obama about four years ago and look how that turned out.

Tim - I was actually worried about this guy a year ago. Now, he is just a whiner dropping in the polls. Put a fork in him. He's done.

Newt - amazing that I can intellectually respect a guy that I disagree with on almost everything. Newt - you are SO last Millennium. Sorry, dude. You are 2000 and Late!

Michelle B - The Wicked Witch of the North, probably got the most out of the debate, but if I'm Obama, I'm sending her money. I want to run against her. She got more brain cells that Palin (OK that ain't saying much) but she is just plain frightening. Those eyes! OMG! I think she might be possessed by Aliens or something. And the swagger - worse that Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men - "You want me in the White House. You need me in the White House" - "You can't handle the truth"

Slick Rick (Santorum)- engaging, mildly entertaining, but the most eloquent thing out of his mouth was "We are a nation. We have values" - in reference to the 10th Amendment. Nice job trying to juxtapose gay marriage against state's trying to opt out of Obamacare. I got it, but he should have saved it for the general election. Of course, he won't be relevant by then, so . . .

Ron Paul - failed in the Music Trivia portion of the event. He mixed up Flock of Seagulls ("I Ran, I Ran so far away") with the Beach Boys ("Bomb,Bomb, Bomb. Bomb-Iran")

Mitt - BORING! I think there is an infomercial missing a spokesperson somewhere. He is probably the biggest threat to Obama's re-election ATM but what a snoozer. Makes Michael Dukakis look positively invigorating. Will moderate/corporate Republicans be able to stay awake long enough to get this cat nominated? Will Tea Party and social conservatives be able to hold their noses and just do it on Election Day?

Herman Cain, John Huntman - I honestly can't recall a single thing these guys said. They might as well not have been there. Like Rick Perry.

And speaking of Rick Perry. I'm glad he was a no-show for this one. I mean, what is there to be excited about? He is running second in polls to Mr Mitt. Oh boy! Another white male from Texas. How original! I wonder if he is better spoken than the last two (some father - son act that will not be named).

The only two political voices from Texas that ever made sense to me were Anne Richards and Molly Ivins (I miss them both very much; may they rest in peace).

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