Friday, July 29, 2011

I got in trouble


How is it that at 46 I can still get in trouble?  I thought I had grown out of that.  I mean when I was a kid I did stupid things like throwng the ball through the window but 40 years later, really?  Isn't there some line you cross where, short of taking an axe to someone, you can basically do what you think is right and not worry about getting in trouble?  Apparently not because I get in trouble a lot.  At my kids school, I forget to turn in paper work, at the office, I forget to turn in paper work (hmm does two points make a pattern or only a line?  And is a line a pattern?) and at home but that rarely has anything to do with paper work, fortunately Lisa takes care of most of that in trade for my sizable manskills.



I got in trouble today for my blog, with Lisa.  I expect this is going to be a long running point of contention.  First, writing my blog takes something like an hour out of an already crammed day so that is an hour where I am not using my valuable manskills for things like killing spiders.  Second, the quality of my posts, apparently yesterdays is confusing and lacks flow which is what she said about my first post so apparently it takes more than writing an hour a day for 18 days to get better.  Given I have not written significant text, as in anything besides emails, for years I should expect it takes at least 20 days of writing before I will improve but I hold myself to a high bar.  Third, Lisa does not like the content in my blogs.  She is afraid people at work will read these, they do by the way, and it will negatively affect, or is that effect, hell I never know, my job.



I have a very distinct style in life, I make very strong emotional connections with the people in my life.  Everyday I try my hardest to help everyone I come in contact with by understanding what they want out of life and seeing if I can provide some perspective, some anecdote, some introduction, some encouragement, some feedback, really anything I can offer to help.  Often this can mean shining a light in places people don't want to look.  This can make people uncomfortable, particularly when they first meet me.




I learned my style from my manager at Accenture, Dan.  He was this amazing larger than life character that brought his teams together in tight knit friendship.  He developed a personal connection in a different way than me, he spent lots of time at bars and restaurants with his team but did not develop deep relationships.  My current manager, Derek, also a phenomenal larger than life manager, is the type of manager who lets you know he cares about you but always maintains a distance that allows him to seem super human, more like Superman.  I suspect he would say something like familiarity breeds contempt.  Me, I am more like Oprah only less intelligent, successful, or attractive, for me it is all about the connection.  In my career I had few managers that helped me with my most challenging areas of interpersonal growth.  I vowed as a manager I would help people grow interpersonally since emotional intelligence has been shown as the best indicator of success.  It seems each of these managerial styles makes some people uncomfortable.  I wonder if it is impossible to be a great manager and not make some people uncomfortable?

Just like a 1-1 with me, perhaps I should get a couch.

I suppose my blog could negatively impact my job but I hope not.  My blog is about, in this order:
  1. Making people think/ask questions about life, theirs and those around them.
  2. Adding humor to peoples day, not as in stand up comedian, my blogs would look different then, as in wow, sounds like my life, that's funny.
  3. Showing people my mistakes and the lessons I learned from them in hopes they uncover their own lessons, making their life better.
  4. Putting my thoughts to pen so they are better formed, given my lack of flow perhaps this is not working.
  5. Learning to write better, developing a style, practicing grammar, etc.
  6. Having fun
  7. Oh and the pictures, I love finding semi-sequitur pictures to add entertainment to my blog

My blog is not about:
  1. It's not about being safe, as you can tell reading my blog I put some very hard core feelings out there often looking at my failings in life. Many would judge me for these failings but the smart ones judge me by the lessons I have learned.
  2. It's not about being politically correct, you do not have to read my blog, I give no kudos for reading it, if you like it cool if you don't cool.
  3. It's not about my opinion, this may seem funny but I rarely know my opinion other than for today.  I change my mind often as I learn more stuff every day.  I prefer to say my opinion evolves but that would only make you laugh at me.


If you must hold my blog against me well I have no control over that so I am not going to worry about it but I hope my blog brings some joy or at least value to your life.  James Altucher always says, "ignore the haters" so I guess that is what I will do.